One More Yellow Bin by Kristine Fitzgerald (Shortlisted)
Joanne Morley didn’t notice the sun rising in the sky as she dragged her wheelie bin down the driveway. Is it green or yellow this week? she asked herself. She never could remember. Placing the red bin roughly on the nature strip, she looked up the street to see what the neighbours had done. Yellow, of course, she muttered to herself. She walked back, removed the recycling bin from its position beside the garden shed and placed it out on the street.
Hitching her pyjama bottoms up so that the cuffs wouldn’t drag along the ground, Joanne returned to the house. She pondered the irony of feeling so tired after being unable to fall asleep for the last two hours. She had been wide awake as she lay staring at the ceiling, yet now that she was up, all she wanted to do was sleep.
As she opened the front door she made a mental note to bring the bins back in after work. One more yellow bin, she thought, as her heart tugged just a little. She crept down the hall and checked on Elly who was still sleeping soundly.
***
“Your attention please everybody,” Joanne said in a loud, clearly projected voice. Her year nine class was, in many ways, her most challenging group this year but she knew they would come around eventually. “Yes, that includes you Aaron. Face the front. And Beatrice, put that gum in the bin. Now.” It was the middle of first term, so Joanne wasn’t giving her class an inch. After Easter she would ease off a little on the heavy discipline, once she was sure that they knew what her boundaries were. “That’s better. Now, remember yesterday you learned how to find the length of the hypotenuse of a right-angled triangle. I’m going to put an example of exactly what we covered on the board and I’d like you all to answer it in your books. Once I know everyone’s got the hang of that, we’ll move on. So here we go.”
She drew a diagram on the whiteboard and heard some whispering behind her. Without turning around, she glanced at the clock on the wall just above the board and saw the reflection of the class. “Working quietly thank you, Sebastian. Yes, I know it’s you. Now, on with your work.” The class settled into silence and completed the task that she had set them.
As soon as the lesson ended, Joanne dismissed the students quickly and made her way to the staffroom. She hard yard duty outside the canteen – her least favourite duty. One more canteen duty, she thought to herself, then quickly corrected her mistake. There were still two canteen duties to go before Leo arrived home.
***
At the end of the week, she drove through busy traffic towards Elly’s school. Ordinarily she would have had her year tens in the last period but they were away on camp and, due to some miracle, she hadn’t been given an extra class. At lunchtime she had phoned her mother, telling her not to worry about collecting Elly from school—she could do it herself. Elly didn’t know about this change of plan, so Joanne had allowed plenty of time to get to the primary school, find a car park and walk to the classroom.
“Hello my darling girl,” she said with her arms open wide.
“Mum,” Elly groaned. “Not in public!”
Joanne was slightly taken aback. Wow, she thought. My six-year-old is already too cool for school. Instead of the hug that she had hoped for, Joanne gently took hold of Elly’s hand. “How was your day?”
“It was OK,” Elly said as she dragged her feet along the ground.
“Only OK?”
“Mmm. We did art this afternoon. I painted a picture of a tree.”
“You did? That’s wonderful. Can I see it?”
“No, not yet. Mrs Harris said we have to let our masterpieces dry over the weekend. We’ll be able to bring them home on Monday.”
“That sounds like a great idea. What else did you do today?”
Elly climbed in the car before answering and strapped herself into her booster seat. “Gee, it’s hot in here!”
“I know it is, sweetie. I’ve got the windows down and as soon as we get going, I’ll turn the air-con on. It will cool down in no time.” Joanne was keen to get the conversation back to Elly’s day, as she had a feeling that something might have upset her. “So, what else did you get up to today?”
Elly didn’t reply for a few seconds.
“It’s OK, honey. You can tell me. Did something go wrong?”
“No,” Elly said with a little frown lining her forehead. “Not exactly.”
Joanne forced herself to wait.
“It’s just that Tom Anderson’s daddy came in for story-time today.”
Joanne’s mind raced, searching for an explanation. “Oh, and did that make you miss your daddy?”
“Well yeah, kind of. I mean, it was great when you came and read The Naughty Kitten to us but it would be so good if Dad could be there.”
“I know sweet heart. I miss him too. But he’ll be home in … how many now?”
“Thirteen more sleeps,” Elly said quickly.
“That’s right. You’re exactly right. Thirteen more sleeps.” Once again Joanne felt her heart strings being tugged. She hadn’t realised how aware her daughter was.
***
The last week was always the hardest. It crawled by more slowly than any snail that had ever lived. Joanne lay in bed, willing herself to fall asleep. The queen bed was far too big for one person. It needed another body in it, to fill up the empty space and provide the comfort and warmth that she longed for. She wondered what the point of it was. Leo and his team weren’t fighting a war, they were carrying out a peace-keeping mission. Peace-keeping! Joanne scoffed at the absurdity of the term. If it’s so peaceful, why is every soldier armed with two guns at all times? Why do they have stores of ammunition just waiting to be used?
She felt selfish for thinking in this way, but by God, didn’t she have the right to wallow in some self pity? She’d been on her own for eight and a half months—working, buying the groceries, keeping the garden tidy and of course looking after Elly. It was Elly who kept her going. It was Elly who made getting up in the mornings feel worthwhile.
Joanne wanted her partner, her lover, her friend, her husband back. She wanted to hold him close, breathe in his after-shave, rub her cheek against his evening stubble. No-one understood how hard it was. Her mum was a great help and her friends made sure she had a bit of fun, but without Leo there beside her, it felt like her life was painted in black and white. She wanted the full colour version back. She wanted to laugh again—not just a polite chuckle but a full belly laugh that made her whole body tingle. Five more sleeps. That was all now. She just had to last five more sleeps.
***
Putting her feet up in front of her, Joanne leaned back against the arm of the couch and flicked the tv on.
“News headlines tonight,” the anchor began. “A thirty-seven-year-old woman was shot dead in the early hours of this morning in her front yard in St Kilda. A motorcycle accident on the Hume Highway outside Shepparton has claimed the life of an 18-year-old male. And in breaking news, reports have just come in about an explosion outside a military base in Afghanistan. More details on this story later in the bulletin.”
Joanne sat bolt upright. No! It can’t be true.
She forced herself to calm down, reasoning that there were Aussie soldiers stationed all over Afghanistan. There was no need to assume that this explosion had happened anywhere near Jalalabad—anywhere near Leo.
She thought of calling Elly into the room just so she could hold her tight, but quickly decided it was best that she stay away, for now. Joanne looked down and saw her hands shaking. She opened and closed her fists a few times to try and release some of the tension as she urged the newsreader to hurry up.
“And back to our breaking news story. At least nine Australian soldiers have been killed in a bomb blast in Afghanistan. Details are sketchy at this stage but it is thought that the bomb was planted by members of the terrorist group known informally as the Alphas. The Alphas have been traced by police for low-level crime throughout the city of Jalalabad over the last six months but today’s bombing is by far their biggest attack to date.”
At the mention of Jalalabad, Joanne’s mind went blurry, but she forced herself to keep listening. “All Australian soldiers stationed within 20km of the bomb site will be sent home as soon as possible. And moving on, one of the ruckmen from Richmond football club has been rushed to hospital for emergency surgery…”
Joanne turned the tv off. What was she supposed to think? Was Leo dead or was he on his way home? And why the hell hadn’t anyone contacted her?
Her thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell. “Oh dammit,” she said to herself. “The pizza.” Standing up from the couch, she called out to Elly. “It’s dinner time, El. Wash your hands and get ready to eat.”
Joanne answered the door and brought the pizza into the living room where Elly was eagerly waiting.
“You got Hawaiian, didn’t you Mum?”
Joanne pasted a bright smile on her face. “Of course I did. That’s your favourite.”
“And do you know what? This is our last pizza night before Daddy comes home.”
“Yes it is,” Joanne replied, hoping with every fibre of her being that she was speaking the truth—hoping that Leo would indeed be coming home.
Monday nights were take-away nights in their household. It had been that way ever since Joanne and Leo had started dating. Whenever Leo was away, Joanne let Elly choose whatever take-away she wanted, and for the last five or six weeks it had been pizza.
Elly chatted away happily, oblivious to the turmoil that was going on inside Joanne. “Did you know Mum, that boys can’t colour in as neatly as girls?”
“Can’t they? Why’s that?”
“Because we had a colouring competition at school today. We all coloured in a picture of a horse and Mrs Harris judged who was best. First and second place were both girls! So, that’s how I know. Girls can colour in way better than boys can.”
“How was your colouring?”
“I didn’t win anything because I went outside the lines a bit. It was tricky colouring in the saddle.”
“I see. Now eat up, there’s a good girl. There’s still plenty of pizza left.”
“That’s because you haven’t had any.”
Joanne picked at the slice of pizza that she held in her hands. “I’ve had a little. I guess I’m not very hungry tonight.”
“You must have spoilt your appetite. Come on, Mum. You need to keep your strength up.”
Joanne couldn’t help but smile at the way Elly was parroting back to her phrases that she had said many times.
“Mum,” Elly said.
“Yes sweetie.”
“Can we watch a movie tonight? I know it’s a school night but I’m really in the mood for watching Black Beauty.”
“It must be all the colouring in you did today,” Joanne said with a smile.
“So, can we? Please?”
Joanne thought for a moment. A movie would actually be perfect. It would keep Elly entertained and Joanne would be free to scroll through her phone and see if she could find out any more about the incident that she couldn’t block from her mind.
“Well, only if you put your pyjamas on and brush your teeth beforehand. That way, once you’re tired you can go straight to bed.”
“Sure! I’ll go now.”
“Finish your dinner first. Don’t rush. There’s plenty of time.”
***
Having not slept a wink, Joanne got up at 6am and made herself a strong coffee. It was bad enough not knowing whether Leo had been killed, but the most frustrating thing was that no-one had contacted her. If Leo was alive he would have texted, and if he wasn’t—that didn’t bear thinking about—but if he wasn’t then his commander, Reg Wilkins, would have sent someone to the house to deliver the tragic news.
She opened the curtains and dialed her school. She knew no-one would answer at this hour but she left a message saying that she wasn’t well enough to come in today. She checked the Facebook app on her phone yet again. The army had a private group for families of soldiers and this was what they used more than anything else to communicate with family.
She saw three dots flashing. At last! Someone was typing something!
She sipped her coffee, taking care not to burn her tongue. Finally the message came through.
Apologies for the delay in comms. We needed to be certain that we had accurate information before passing it on any further. The last we heard is that all surviving troops who were stationed outside of Jalalabad are currently being flown home, due to arrive in Melbourne at 14:40 hours. We offer our condolences to you all—this is a difficult time for everyone—and as soon as we have a confirmed list of the dead, their next of kin will be informed.
Joanne immediately plugged her phone in to charge. She did not need it running out of battery today. Somehow she would have to occupy herself for the morning before undertaking the two and a half hour drive to Tullamarine. She knew if Leo was in the air he wouldn’t be able to text her, and she was damned if she was going to sit around the house waiting for a senior officer to knock on the door and tell her she was a widow.
Somehow she managed to eat a slice of toast, get Elly off to school, make arrangements for the rest of the day with her mum and get herself dressed. She wanted to look amazing for when she saw Leo again but all she could manage was an old sweatshirt, leggings, a comb through her hair and a quick dab of lip gloss. She didn’t even try to tackle the bags under her eyes. And forget about mascara—it didn’t stand a chance.
***
She, along with about thirty other military wives, waited nervously at Gate 57. They all looked as haggard as she felt. There was no point trying to comfort each other. They weren’t that close and taking on someone else’s pain right now was just too hard.
Joanne checked the time on her phone as she ordered another coffee from the nearby café. The plane was due to land in fifteen minutes and it was expected to be on time. One more coffee, she thought to herself. Only one more coffee until I see Leo again. Please, please let it be true.
She threw the empty cup in the bin and watched closely as a tall Emirates hostess opened the gate. She tried to move closer but all the other women were just as eager as she was to see who was coming.
The soldiers started to file into the airport. One by one, women cried out in relief as they saw their husbands walking towards them.
Come on, Leo. Where are you? Joanne wondered desperately. She moved closer to the gate. She saw Alex Kulman, one of Leo’s best mates, walk in. She tried to get his attention but he only had eyes for his wife, Sarah.
The stream of soldiers slowed down to a trickle and Joanne’s stress level jumped up a notch. Come on, Leo. Get off that plane, now. I beg you.
The crowd of women had dispersed so Joanne had a clear view of who was approaching. She hardly dared to breathe. She couldn’t see any more soldiers coming, just a stretcher being wheeled by a woman in uniform, presumably a nurse. Joanne urged the nurse to hurry up and move out of the way. She needed a clear view.
“Jo,” a voice called. Joanne barely registered that someone was calling her name because all of her attention was focused on looking down the loading bridge. “Jo, come here!”
The voice was familiar. Soft, a little husky, but vaguely recognizable. Joanne looked around in confusion. She was desperate to see Leo but he wasn’t here.
“Joanne Elizabeth Morley, would you look this way for a minute?”
Jo looked around wildly and saw the figure on the stretcher waving his arm in the air. Then she nearly collapsed with relief. It was Leo—her Leo. She ran to be by his side. “Oh God! You’re here! Are you all right? Can I hug you?”
“You can do more than hug me,” he said as he planted his mouth on hers.
Joanne broke away from the kiss. “But you’re hurt. Tell me what happened.”
“A great lot of fuss over nothing is what happened. My shoulder is a bit burnt but I’m fine. Really I am. I’m so glad to be home again.”
“Oh Leo. I’m glad you’re home too.”